Thursday, November 19, 2009

Polygamy or Creepy Tropical Island?

Wise philosophers have pondered this question for many years. But now I, Brian Graber, will attempt to stick my foot up their ass!

I have been watching the first seasons of Lost and Big Love simultaneously. I am really enjoying both programs since "Dramas," haven't really been my thing, traditionally. Today as I was finishing the last episode of BL I thought, "which scenario would I rather find myself in?" Yes, I know that's a great question!

If you haven't seen the shows, I'm sorry there is nothing I can do to help you. But for the sake of this awesome hypothetical - I will assume that I would be in the position of the main characters. In the case of BL - Bill Hendrickson, husband of 3, father of many, owner of several Home Depot type stores. In the case of Lost - Dr. Jack Shephard, the only doctor on the island that I know of, and the defacto leader of sorts. (please don't spoil anything for me if you choose to comment)

First Impression: Easy, I'd have to go with being married to 3 women, not being stranded on a weird island with creatures that knock down trees, attack humans and have to live with increasingly hostile inhabitants! Hendrickson is sleeping with 3 women who are all cool with it! I've always said that I support polygamy (but not in the - kick young boys out on the street and marry of 16 year olds) and lucky for me - the Hendrickson's are not those kind.
Advantage: BL

Second Impression: I grew up living in two homes (I originate from a broken home) and I could never find anything I needed. Hendrickson lives in three homes! Consider me boned. On the island - those people barley have anything, talk about not having a problem finding your shit (post-find your stuff from the plane crash). Also, one must consider location: a Salt Lake City suburb or a tropical island most likely located in the Pacific?
Advantage: Lost

Third Impression: Hendrickson is wicked stressed. Besides the three wives, he operates two stores with his name on it and is fighting off the fake prophet and leader of the polygamist compound who is growing increasingly more violent. On the other hand, Dr. Jack is wicked stressed too. He's figuring out how 40ish people are going to survive on a deserted, mysterious island. People are hurt, he has to help them; someone stole something, he has to go get it back; basically he's being pulled in a million different ways, yet everyone looks to him for advice.
Advantage: Tie (I don't need that kind of stress in my life)

Fourth Impression: One of the survivors of the plane crash is named Kate Austen who is played by Evangeline Lilly. I'm not through the first season yet, but if I had to guess Dr. Jack is going to sleep with her - and she's super hot. Hotter than Bill's three lovely wives combined.
Advantage: Lost (super hot!)

Final Impression: I enjoy camping, I enjoy the wilderness, but let's not be silly - I wouldn't do well on the island. I enjoy working with people but when push comes to shove, I'm throwing fists. I don't live or need a lavish lifestyle but the basics have always come in handy. The thought of having to go to war with the bad kind of polygamists is much more enjoyable than living on an island cut off from the world.
Advantage: BL

Final Verdict: Both of these very realistic scenarios are quite intriguing and clearly have their ups and downs. But in the end, fuck it! I want to be Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother!


Laura said...

haha. that was anticlimactic. i wanna be on dancing with the stars

For Alej said...

i really really enjoyed this post (and not just in spite of the fact that i don't watch either of these shows).

Gunjan said...

you know im really happy you are watching some of my fav tv shows now!