Friday, September 25, 2009

Corona Commerical Spoof

Just ran across this. I've always been a fan of the commercials and I think this is great!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Fall 2009 U.S. Tour

The Chinese believe that 2009 is the year of the Ox. Well I'm here to tell you that 2009 is the year of Brian Graber.

I'm taking the good vibes out on the road to see these United States!

The plan as it stands (and I'm really just starting to plan) is to leave October 23rd. I have tickets to see The Gaslight Anthem and the Loved Ones on the 22nd and I'm not missing it. I'm taking my '93 Civic and I'm going to drive all over. (see diagram below for crappy rendition of where I want to go)

Please note I am starting from DC and heading North(West) first. The only date I have in mind is Thanksgiving and I'm hoping to be in Boca Raton, Florida at my Mom's house.

A Comprehensive List of Places I Refuse To Go:
  • Detroit
So what am I looking for from you? Places to stay, suggestions about what to see, where to see it and so on and so forth. I believe I am getting a pass for National Parks and plan on camping a bunch!

So basically, this is going to be awesome!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Random List #1

Top 3 Bands I've Never Seen Live That I Want To See... Live. (in very particular order)

#1. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
#2. Foo Fighters
#3. Metallica

Clearly I accomplished a lot today.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Pedicab Confessionals 1.1

Best pick up line I've heard since I've started pedicabbing.

Two drunk guys outside the Wonderland Ballroom to a pack of women getting into a cab:
"Come party with us! We got 40 chicken McNuggets and two huge dicks!"

I bet they get tons of play.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Inglorious Bastards

I had a great time watching this movie! Kind of like the movie Munich, (and the whole conversation about that movie in Knocked Up) the Jews take the traditional role of being the oppressed and turn it upside and whoop some ass.

I hate revisionism just as much as the next guy, but if this was the way it went down, that'd be pretty freaking sweet! Tarantino made just an awesome film. Some parts were too gory for me, but I can see how they fit.

In summation - if you hate Nazi's, you'll love this film. But really it's better than just Nazi's being killed, I loved how the two stories come together. Classic film and great casting AAAANND, Brad Pitt wasn't really the main character which I kinda dug. See this film!

Pedicab Confessionals 2.0

It's been a beautiful couple days here in the nations capitol! So while business may be slowing down, the truth is I get to spend all day outside and get a decent workout. I'd really like to be laying in the shade on the grass spooning, but we can't all get what we want.

So being a beautiful day, two schmucks from Missouri had to sort of ruin it. Two guys got on my cab and to say there were large is an understatement. They said they weighed 400 pounds, when it's more likely they weighed close to 600 pounds together. But that's really their problem isn't it?!

Anyways... as soon as they got on my bike (we were headed to the White House) one of them starts talking about how he wants to take a dump on the porch of the White House., or at least moon the President. Clearly, none of those are real options and for even mentioning it, I now have the excuse to ignore everything else that comes out of his mouth! I do tell him that he needs to be careful because the secret service has the right to detain him for as long as they'd like without reason.

He then starts asking me if I'm happy about the way the country is being run and how the healthcare bill is going. I say I'm content. He asks if I feel good about my future. (I think it should be stated here there is no way this guy could have been over 30 and chances are he was younger than me). My Future?! I said, "Dude, I'm riding a pedicab, my future looks amazing!" His future looks short if he doesn't do something about his big fat belly and high cholesterol.

Then the racist shit starts coming out of his mouth about having a black President and something about how all of the black people in Missouri are stupid and he realizes that all of the smart ones are in DC. I totally didn't even respond to that.

(I am whore. With all my being I want to take the bike down a hill and jump off leaving fatty and fatty mcbutter pants to fend for themselves but like I said, I'm a whore. I knew it would be a slow day and I could use the fare)

After dropping them at the White House they walk down the path and on their way back to me one of them actually stops a secret service bike cop. When they get back to the cab I find out he started asking the cop about all the barriers and talking about his political views and after he mentioned the word "president," they took his ID and took down all his information. He's probably on a watch list now...

My day would have been much sweeter if they just arrested him and had to use four pairs of handcuffs all linked together. I'd have taken pictures of that!